


Lewis Carroll Would Approve

by Styfas



Category: Good Guys (TV 2010)
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, M/M, Silly, Swearing, changed rating to teen and up because of swearing and other stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:40:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24627955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Styfas/pseuds/Styfas
Summary: Jack explains the finer points of a Lewis Carroll book to Dan.
Relationships: Jack Bailey/Dan Stark





	Lewis Carroll Would Approve

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The characters of Jack Bailey and Dan Stark do not belong to me. Rather, they belong to Matt Nix, Colin Hanks, Bradley Whitford, and the FOX Television Network. I am merely borrowing these characters for this totally non-profit work of fan fiction, and I promise to give them back after the final sentence – at least until I begin my next fiction…

It’s seven o’clock on a Sunday after a long Saturday night of drinking. The first yellow beams of morning sunlight slice between the venetian blinds of the bedroom to land directly across Dan Stark’s face. He unwillingly sputters awake and shades his eyes from the Sun’s assault; it’s too dang bright!

He shimmies to one side to see that Jack, the early bird, must have woken up earlier. Worse still, Jack’s side of the bed is already made; sheets smoothed, and blankets straightened. “The hell,” Dan moans. “Might as well get up, too.” He slowly rises from the bed and takes a moment to get his bearings. When the room stops spinning, he proceeds to the bathroom, alternately rubbing his eyes and massaging his temples. Every step he takes jars his body, and only adds to the painful throbbing in his head.

After successfully making it to the commode without incident, he empties his bladder and then washes his hands. He remembers that he and Jack still have some plain cake donuts left over from their last purchase of a dozen from Dunkin’ Donuts - and thank God Jack made a trip to the grocery store yesterday afternoon to replenish their supply of guacamole dip. Shower later, he thinks. First things first; gotta go to the kitchen for the tried and true hangover remedy. 

Dan slowly pads into the kitchen to see Jack seated at the table, reading a book.

“Good morning, Dan.”

“Morning. What are you reading there?“

_“Alice’s Adventures Through the Looking Glass.”_

Dan manages a grin. “Porn?”

Jack chuckles. “No, Dan. It’s the sequel to _Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.”_

“Wonderland, huh? Yeah, I’ll bet. Still sounds like porn to me.”

Jack sighs. “Dan, most people know it as _Alice in Wonderland.”_

“ _Alice in Wonderland_ ; I’ve heard of that one. It’s a girlie book, right?”

“The Alice books are _classics_. And this is not just a children’s book. It’s loaded with social commentary, satire, logic, word play, chess, and –“

Dan shrugs his shoulders. “Well, whatever floats your boat, I guess.”

“I happen to like reading Lewis Carroll!”

Dans narrows his eyes in thought. “Lewis Carroll. Wait a minute - isn’t he the guy who wrote … Hell, what’s it called…” He snaps his fingers repeatedly as he struggles with his memory. “Oh yeah… Jabberwacky!”

“It’s Jabber _wocky_ , Dan. “

“Crazy poem; all those weird words that don’t make any sense. Did the guy have a penthouse suite at the Tower of Babel, or what?”

“Ah, but you see, Humpty Dumpty explains it in this book!” Jack excitedly turns pages to find the exact spot.

“Humpty Dumpty?”

“Yes, he appears as a character. Wait, wait – here it is!” Jack begins a dramatic reading: ‘Twas brilling and the slithy toves did gyre and gimbel in the wabe.” 

“And what is that supposed to mean, exactly?”

“Dan, here’s just one reason why this book is really educational: Humpty Dumpty explains what a portmanteau is.”

“You gotta be kidding me. A poor man toe?”

Jack chuckles and shakes his head. He pronounces the word portmanteau again, slowly, and with a French accent, so it cannot in any way be confused with “poor man toe.”

“So you can speak French, too. Doesn’t matter, it’s all Greek to me.”

“A portmanteau is a word with two meanings packed into one,” Jack says. “For example, _slithy,_ according to Humpty Dumpty, means ‘lithe and slimy.’ Oh – and later on in the poem: All _mimsy_ were the _borogoves?_ Well, he explains _mimsy_ as being a combination of ‘flimsy’ and ‘miserable.’”

 _“Miserable;_ I can relate to that,” Dan says, “’cause I have one Helluva hangover.” He makes a beeline for the refrigerator. “Nothing personal, Jacko, but I can’t handle any more of this Lewis Carroll stuff. Right now all I want is a guacamonut.” 


End file.
